dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
