Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Randomize