Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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