Sry I called you an 8
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
