If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My first STD was from a foam party
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize