i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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