no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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