Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
