dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
try to milk me bitch
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