Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
