I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
