I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
