lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
