WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
