things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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