So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
