You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
