he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
