Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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