Duck Duck Cougar?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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