I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
