the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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