Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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