I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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