Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
so much tequila, so little girl.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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