three words: i give head
three words: not that well
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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