Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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