look no pants
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Still dying that you shit outside
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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