i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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