Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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