Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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