some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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