I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
