yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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