Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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