if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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