I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
