so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
