why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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