she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
