Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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