We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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