If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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