I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
