On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
