A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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