clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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