I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
