clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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