My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize