You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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