You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
