It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
