Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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