thus making me awesome and them whores
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
