I think im going to throw up on grandma
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
