ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
