um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
