What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize
