i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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